He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish i was in the wii world.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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