dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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