I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize