I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
