I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
