just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
