can u get pink eye on your cock?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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