Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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