I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
