I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
