I heard we made out
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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