she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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