I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
