This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
