Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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