just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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