I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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