I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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