Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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