haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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