All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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