Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
