Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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