How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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