More tranny stories later!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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