Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
