I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
