then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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