so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The beer is more important than you right now.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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