She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
