all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
