why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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