You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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