actually, I'm a sock model
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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