PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i already hear my dad disowning me
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
try to milk me bitch
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
