we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
