I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
