At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think people are normalizing furries
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
