Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
how drunk are you?
Several
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
