Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
