How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
