NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
