The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize