Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
