Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
