I think my fart just growled at me.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
