We're facebook friends in real life
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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