Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
