there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
