do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
